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| | The !:Global Sindhis Network is not currently active and cannot accept new posts | | Sindhi weddings | Views: 3025 | | Jan 06, 2007 10:23 am | | Sindhi weddings | # | 
Pushpa Moorjani | | Sindhi weddings are amazing! It is fun especially, when it is a love-cum-arranged marriage. Everybody is happy. Parents are happy that they didn’t have to go through the long procedure of meeting the endless matchmakers, and children are happy that they were able to convince their parents of their independent choice. Moreover, parents are happy that they can celebrate the occasion in their own traditional style.
In the days gone by, (my mom would often relate it to me)all the marriage rituals would take place at home or in the dharamshalas. A huge hall (dharamshala) was rented out where all the guests would stay together and the food was served all day. All the near and far relatives and friends were invited to the house. Only men attended the weddings while the women stayed at home and cooked the delicious meals. Women had great time cutting, cooking and gossiping and singing. As marriage was a festive event in the communal life, all sorts of mirth and amusements were associated with it in form of feasts, music, dance, etc.
Decoration of the house and adornment of the bride and the bridegroom would express aesthetic motives natural to any important event in social life. The event would go on for a week with traditional food and singing and festivities in the air.
Today, however, most of the ceremonies are held in hotels. Everybody is invited and women attend the marriages too. All the friends and relatives prefer to stay in the hotels because everybody needs their privacy and the space for dressing up for the occasions and there are very few ceremonies that are performed at home. The enjoyment that I would have during those marriages (when I was in teens), teasing, singing, going for long rides in the middle of the night with many cousins, all that is missing now. All the latest music and western dance have replaced the tradition singing and dancing.All we do at the marriages now a days is show off our ornaments and our expensive dresses (that we cannot wear more than once)and eat and drink and dance to loud music. Private Reply to Pushpa Moorjani | | Jan 09, 2007 9:19 am | | re: Sindhi weddings | # | 
Sonu C | | Pushpa. i completely agree earlier all the women use to be busy cooking and handling arrangements. Today they want to have all the fun, enjoy the wedding, Look Hep
But we still have laddas like Sone jo rupayo etc..... with the latest music & songs (Sangeet party) in some of our weddings As most of the teasing happens in these ladaas. Private Reply to Sonu C | | Jan 09, 2007 10:01 am | | re: re: Sindhi weddings | # |
Pushpa Moorjani | | yes Sonu, Laddas used to be the fun songs at sangeet parties, but, slowly and surely it is dwindling. SOME of the upper crust societies find 'Laddas' a primitive and embarrassing custom. (believe it not!) Private Reply to Pushpa Moorjani | | Jan 09, 2007 10:17 am | | re: re: re: Sindhi weddings | # | 
Karan Jethani | | None of the sindhi weddings can be complete without our rituals.... Bochni, Saatth and Laddas is an intrinsic part of our weddings, How can people miss such fun filled rituals. Most hilarious part is that the groom has to get his clothes torn apart by people and if its on the eve he has to sleep in the same torn clothes. I guess its to give him an idea of how difficult is the path he wants to tread ;-) (just kidding, guys)
Karan :-)Private Reply to Karan Jethani | | Feb 04, 2007 9:34 am | | re: Sindhi weddings | # | 
dalip daswani | | Haven't been to a sindhi wedding in over two decades. The significant memory I have from childhood days however is not a very pleasant one :
I recall how the elder ladies - the ones in white - would virtually bare the bosom of the bride - checking out what jewellery she was adorned with.
And this would be `the talk of the town' for days together thereafter.
Sorry!Private Reply to dalip daswani | | Feb 04, 2007 11:55 am | | re: re: Sindhi weddings | # |
Suren Bhatia | | Hi. Just came across an article on Sindhi weddings that I had written a long time ago... pasting it here in case anyone's interested in reading it. Njoi
SINDHI MARRIAGES
Religious fervour, lavish hospitality, and dollops of fun!
For a community so scattered all over the world, its pulse throbbing with business and other money-making enterprises, well-known for its colourful printed shirts and outlandishly gold embroidered clothes, the Sindhis are among the most cosmopolitan and broad-minded Indians. Yet, when it comes to marriage rituals, the community’s religious fervour is undiminished, focusing on myriad ceremonies with the vigour and enthusiasm of striking multi-million dollar deals. The Sindhi marriage is an elaborate ritualistic experience with dollops of fun shoveled in to keep every one happy and smiling.
It begins, as all good things must, on a quiet understated note. A small woman (oh, she’s usually small… if she’s taller than 5 feet, eyebrows would be raised about her appetite!), clad in a rumpled not-so white sari, with thinning white hair tied in a miniature chhoti, struts into the house. She is the ubiquitous Guryanni, a family Brahmini whose presence is a must on all joyous and sad hallowed occasions to assist in regulating the religious rites and ensure that no transgressions occur, especially in the offerings to the gods, and his servant. She usually carries an oversized cloth bag, within which are at least another three similar but smaller bags to carry away the rice, sugar, fruit and coconuts.
But also in that cloth bag is the most important tool of her trade: horoscopes of almost every eligible boy and girl that her vast decades-old network can rustle up within the community. No matter that the homely girl with a penchant for making Sindhi curry is in Bhavnagar or Amravati, or the boy is spearheading a revolution in America’s Silicon Valley or is a beach bum in Spain, she’s got their kundali, and spares no effort to match them for life. She’s the lifeforce of the traditional marriage market among Sindhis, and to her machinations are attributed the credit (and at some sadder moments, the discredit) of innumerable alliances.
Once she’s had her say and the families and the young couple are inching forward to an agreement, a match is tentatively set up. She then pushes the two families to rush through what is an informal engagement ceremony, or as business-minded Sindhis would say, a letter of intent, or a MOU for a prospective merger.
Kachchi Misri: By its very name, it is Kachchi (weak, not permanent) Misri (rock sugar, or mooh mitha karna) and though the intent is serious, it is still perforated with plenty of exit routes.
The girl’s family sends to the boy’s family a basket of fruit, about 1 or 5 kilos of mithai, 5 coconuts, a thali of misri, and some cash, which need not be more than a one rupee coin. The acceptance of these gift tokens and consumption of misri by the boy’s family is deemed acceptance of the match. Since it is a ritual of ‘intent’ and not ‘confirmation’, the gifts are not ostentatious. This is also called ‘ladki rokna ‘, almost literally, reserving or booking the girl.
In the period immediately after Kachchi Misri, the families get their act together and try and ferret out any secrets or skeletons that the other family may be concealing from them. Or seek references from common friends and neighbours of the in-laws to be. If everything pans out and the families are still interested in bonding, a date is fixed for the much-awaited shaadhi.
Normally a week before the date set for the wedding, the formal engagement ceremony or Pakki Misri takes place.
Pakki Misri: As the name connotes, this is the Pakki (confirmed, permanent) Misri and takes the form of a regular engagement ceremony with an exchange of rings. The bride-to-be’s family provides the groom-to-be’s family with various gifts. Essential among these are clothes and accessories (watch, cufflinks, gold chain, etc.) that the boy is expected to wear for the Pakki Misri. Other gifts usually are a basket of fruit, clothes for the boy’s mother and maybe other family members too, 10 kilos of sugar, one kilo of Misri, and 11 or 21 coconuts. Amusingly, they normally also offer a basket of dry fruit which includes, (since Sindhis profess to be modern) items like ketchup, jelly, jam, coffee, and ice cream mix. There’s again a token amount of cash, but this may vary from Rs. 11 to Rs. 11,000. A cocktail party (not mandatory) and, most definitely, a well-laid out vegetarian dinner often accompany Pakki Misri.
Once the rings have been exchanged and the couple is formally engaged, the other ceremonies run into each other. The families organise a Satsang to the Sindhi godhead Jhulelal that begins with invoking Ganesh. A figurine of the elephant-headed God is made of wheat flour, studded with nine cloves, and mounted on a clay jar. After the puja and prayers invoking the blessings of Jhulelal, a bhajan or kirtan session is organised. Finally, either the groom or his father carries on his head a thali loaded with items used in the puja to the sea for immersion. Also known as Berana, this signals the beginning of ceremonies and celebrations.
Dev Baithana: Organised separately in the two houses, this involves the installation of a stone grinder (chakki) as a symbol of totemic deity, to be worshipped in the days prior to marriage. The bride/ bridegroom is seated before the chakki and a thread is tied around it. The entire family adorns it with tilak. This ceremony is accompanied by the dictat that neither the groom nor the bride may leave the house. The brother-in-law of each is appointed as the Ainar, to guard them and look after them.
Mehendi: This is a riotous occasion for the women of the families. While the girl’s hands and feet are adorned by intricate Mehendi patterns, the women get together and with a dholok and steel plate and spoon for music, dance and sing risqué folk songs lampooning just about every one in the family. These songs or Ladas spare nobody, whether it’s the respected mother-in-law and an unmarried daughter of the family. All the neighbourhood women are invited for this sangeet feast.
If the bride’s mehendi turns out particularly dark and deep, it is considered a sign that she would have a very happy married life.
The boy’s family also has a similar session of singing and dancing by the women.
Wanwas: In this ceremony, both the boy and girl are dressed in old clothes and wear a anklet made of either copper or iron, to ward off evil. Seven women from each family pour oil on the top of their skull and then in a riotous ceremony, set about tearing their old clothes to shreds to symbolise the end of prior family and emotional commitments and a resolve to make a fresh start. The torn clothes are immersed in the sea.
The bride-to-be is also made to break a clay pot. If she manages it with one shot, it is considered an auspicious sign and again is symbolic of the end of one era in her life.
Tih: The bride’s family priest goes to the groom’s house with small gifts and a piece of paper bearing the shubh mahurat (auspicious time for wedding). After a Ganesh puja to ratify the mahurat, the priest offers this paper to the groom, who accepts it as confirmation of acceptance. This is known as Tih. Later in the night, the groom is dressed up in traditional clothes with a sword strapped to his waist. After the prayers, the priest places a mukut (crown) on his head as coronation.
Saagri: In a most pre-wedding poignant ceremony, the groom’s sisters and younger members of the family visit the bride’s place with flower jewelry. They adorn the bride in a silk sari and flower jewelry, symbolising the showering of their blessings and accepting her into their fold. The entire jewelry is made of flowers, like a headband of mogra, or a necklace of rose petals.
Thread-ceremony: Traditionally, the boy has the scared thread-ceremony or Jariyan, at the age of seven, but in case he hasn’t, it is usually the first ritual of the wedding day. Cleansed with haldi and oil, he sits for the traditional puja with a younger male sibling or cousin. He is proffered many gifts and made to wear the sacred thread in the presence of Agni.
Shaadi: This is a traditional Hindu ceremony and normally takes place at the venue of the reception. The bride and groom sit together in front of Agni, with a sheet drawn between them since it is inauspicious to see each other’s face as yet. They then place their feet in a silver thali and the bride’s mother washes them with milk. The common and amusing belief here is that the partner whose feet are on top will be the dominant one in the relationship. But since the girl is usually asked to place her feet first in the thali, invariably the boy’s feet are on top. Which, of course, is rarely a true picture of any marriage! Some intrepid girls do put up a mock fight to get on top but at least as far as this ceremony goes, the boy is allowed to win.
The Maharaj starts his invocations of the gods and the marriage is underway. He often pauses in his incantations to explain the meaning of various slokas. The hour-long ceremony culminates in the Saat Pheras around the scared fire.
After the usual bidaai tears (THESE are mandatory!) from the new bride, she heads towards her new family home.
Datar: As soon as the bride steps into the house, she is made to sprinkle drops of milk around the entire house. And then follows what is surely the most important and symbolic ceremony post-marriage ritual. From a thali full of salt, she scoops out two fistful and passes it into the cupped palms of a member of her new family. That person then passes the salt back into her cupped palms. This process, known as Datar, is repeated three times with each and every member of the family, signifying that she is now an indivisible part of the family.
This brings to the end the marriage rituals. And the bride’s new life begins.
Private Reply to Suren Bhatia | | Feb 05, 2007 11:54 am | | re: re: re: Sindhi weddings | # |
Karan Jethani | | Suren. thats a very minutely detailed account of a Sindhi Wedding. But you missed the last one..SATAVDO.
Karan :-)Private Reply to Karan Jethani | | Feb 05, 2007 1:39 pm | | re: Sindhi weddings | # |
Sunil Ahuja | | wow! now i realise that not only can i not speak the language but i'm also totally out of the loop as far as sindhi traditions are concerned.
however latest music and dance replacing traditional activities may not be such a bad thing as it is the bread and butter for the company this sindhi bhau works for.
Private Reply to Sunil Ahuja | | Feb 11, 2007 12:39 pm | | re: re: Sindhi weddings | # |
Saniya Kirpalani | | Thank you for such and interesting and indepth article on Sindhi weddings. Would love to know what a satvado is though. Also is there anyone who has read a satire or a tongue in cheek version of a sindhi wedding? URL please.
Private Reply to Saniya Kirpalani | | Feb 11, 2007 2:29 pm | | re: re: re: Sindhi weddings | # |
Pushpa Moorjani | | satavado means reception given on the next day of wedding. usually it is a party given by brides' family to grooms' family. all the expenses would be paid by brides family, but now it has changed, all the weding expenses are now equally shared by both parties.
initially there would be only misri, wedding and satavado, but now there are additional parties such as bachelors party, mehandi party and sangeet party and then there are more private parties which take place to welcome the new family members it can go on and on... so the whole festivals go on for a week.
:)
PushpaPrivate Reply to Pushpa Moorjani | | Feb 12, 2007 5:10 am | | re: Sindhi weddings | # | 
Dinesh Punjabi | | Hi
So much goes into the weddings...... my photographers shoot weddings and didnt have so much indepth knowledge of the rituals.
Thanks all of you for giving out so much information here.
Tc,
Dp.
Global Sindhis Mixer http://www.ryze.com/ed.a?eid=33411
http://globalsindhis-network.ryze.com/
http://www.ryze.com/go/dp1967
Add as friend on dpalb@hotmail.comPrivate Reply to Dinesh Punjabi | | Jun 16, 2007 3:36 pm | | re: re: Sindhi weddings | # |
Pushpa Moorjani | | want to attend a wedding fair? you can attend on Sunday
details are here at my blogspot at http://mumbai-pushpa.blogspot.com/
If you are curious about the rituals, the whole interesting feature on Sindhi Wedding is here....
http://www.marriagemantra.com/sindhi_community.php
a good write-up on Sindhi Wedding
:)
PushpaPrivate Reply to Pushpa Moorjani | | Jun 17, 2007 2:25 am | | re: re: re: Sindhi weddings | # | 
Rajan Bhavnani | | Thanks everyone. Very illuminating.
Does anyone know the exact vows which are exchanged during the agni ceremony?
BestPrivate Reply to Rajan Bhavnani | | Jun 17, 2007 12:08 pm | | re: re: re: re: Sindhi weddings | # |
Manish Nihal | | Thank you people, good information. . Honestly I did not know half the stuff!!
By the way if u guys wanna listen to some authentic Sindhi Laadas (Marriage songs) check this out..
http://www.musicindiaonline.com/music/sindhi/s/type.33/
Enjoy!
Manish Nihal
Private Reply to Manish Nihal | | Jun 17, 2007 1:38 pm | | re: re: re: re: re: Sindhi weddings | # | 
~ ever happy ~ ani. | | Hi Pushpa, Your posts are always educative and a good read, as also your blogs.
Keep writing.
Hi Suren, the article copy-pasted by you is really interesting. Thanks for sharing.
Regards,
anita.Private Reply to ~ ever happy ~ ani. | | Jun 17, 2007 5:02 pm | | re: re: re: re: re: re: Sindhi weddings | # |
Pushpa Moorjani | | Thank you Anita, for your encouraging words, you inspire me to write more……
Manish, thanks for the link……
Rajan, I wonder if the vows keep changing with times.
The last wedding that I attended in Kotakinabalo, (Malaysia) the pundit read the vows in English, that too on a mike, for all of us, who were sitting on the beach (Yes, the wedding was on the beach) to understand and bride and the groom were asked to repeat the vows after him on a mike and then say ‘I do’, It was very interesting to hear those vows and the meaning of those scripts and hear his explanation in English and for the first time I became aware of those promises and realized the purity and importance of marriage, I wondered then, why do ppl break up after such holy vows.
The vows are very simple and that is to maintain the honor of the family by giving 100 percent understanding, compromise and respect for each other against all odds. No abusing, nor degrading the spouse or their moral values. To maintain the relation under all circumstances, even in the fluctuating situations of health, wealth and happiness.
Private Reply to Pushpa Moorjani | | Jun 18, 2007 5:55 am | | re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Sindhi weddings | # |
Karan Jethani | | As far as I know the vows are the same as in any Vedic wedding. They are in sanskrit, the pundit, however does translate in any understandable language and makes the bride and bride groom understand the sanskrit verses.
Karan :-)Private Reply to Karan Jethani | | Jun 18, 2007 6:03 am | | Sindhi weddings | # | 
RAJAN ADVANI | | Excellent- subject- very infomative, the next time I get married I will follow all the rituals to the hilt.
What about-- DATI-LATI?Private Reply to RAJAN ADVANI | | Jun 18, 2007 7:16 am | | re: Sindhi weddings | # |
Rajan Bhavnani | | Thanks Pushpa.
but I think there is deeper significance to the sanskrit shlokas.
Fellow Rajan, Isn't getting married once, enough?
BestPrivate Reply to Rajan Bhavnani | | |
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