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| Aug 30, 2007 1:44 pm |
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re: re: Having a bad day? ... reflect on these to cheer yourself up |
I Think Therefore Am Single:)
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SMILING BODIES
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls in the police to tell them what has
Happened.
First body: "Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, inspector", says the
Coroner.
Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent It all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the
Smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one: Santa Singh, age 30,
Struck by Lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"He thought he was having his photo taken."
FINALLY TOGETHER
A woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died.
She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died.
She remarried and this time had 5 more children.
She finally died after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"
The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
CHEAP BASTARDS!
A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one, a doctor, "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift."
"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two, a lawyer, arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you."
"It's nothing," said the father, "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then the daughter, an executive secretary, arrived, "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college so you could have the life and comforts we could never afford.
Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"
"Yep," said the father. "And cheap ones too!"
Private Reply to I Think Therefore Am Single:) (new win) |
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